My Crush Since 6th Grade! :)

Well to start it off I've had a crush on this guy since I was in 6th grade.. and to me that's insane but awesome at the same time. I met him through my best friend which is his sister... and he was sooo hott and I didn't know what to do at all back then, not just because I was in 6th grade but because of the age difference... Later on we started being friends talking on AIM and stuff through out those years, he would say little things like when are we going to hang out and stuff like that and I would get all excited but thought about it deep down inside and was like yeah right he's just another guy that acts like he wants to hang out but deep down he could care less... I thought waayyy too soon because later on we did.. and we both weren't really sure about dating then so nothing happened until recently this past August we started talking and hanging out again. We always had soo much fun we told each other pretty much everything and never had a dull moment or better yet within that little time period we NEVER argued.. about anything. We always played around and had a really good time! But the next thing I know he's breaking it off... and just when I felt like I was getting my heart back it was being taking away again. But it wasn't, it just hurt a little more than I wanted it to.. and I'm okay now. He had been fighting something he shouldn't have been and knew God was the only answer. God has to take control. If it is meant to be then God will put us together again, but for now I guess it's just not the time.. neither of us is strong enough for a relationship and I'm just glad we both know that and it's not like he hurt me intentionally. We both still have a good strong friendship and still talk even though sometimes I call him for help and I kind of feel bad doing that but I trust him more than anyone I know and what's bad is that anyone includes my daddy. I don't know why, I guess it's just because he actually listens to me and treats me like I'm a human being not some martian. He is his total self around me and I LOVE THAT!! I honestly can say that I used to have a hard time being myself around some guys even my ex I was with for almost 14 months, I can talk to him about any kind of problem I am dealing with at any time. He just PERFECT! Well to me he is.. and he's very responsible, honest, nice, hott, and pretty much anything else nice that you can say about him. He's what every girl wants!! But I think us just being friends is a good thing because if we are meant to be together later we will have a much stronger friendship but if not then we can always be best friends! I would much rather that than us not talking or being friends at all...

Things Will Come Together in the End

Life doesn't come close to what I expected it to be at all, but I guess that's why God is in control. I mean some days you can be jumping for joy and others you feel like your whole world is crashing down on you. Does anyone ever feel like that, or is it just me? Last night I finally figured out why me and my parents haven't been doing so great.. I just don't appreciate all the things they do for me like I should, and people have hinted that but I just never wanted to listen even though I should have. When I ask my parents to jump they usually ask how high.. honestly. They rarely ever just say NO. The one thing that has been bothering me and makes me point out all the things that I can't stand that they do is them not wanting me to be at South Gastonia. Everything else we are okay on accept I need to help them with my insurance. And they know I will after Christmas... But I love my parents and they would do anything in the world for me and I love them for that and appreciate everything they have done for me! But that wasn't the only thing that happened last night.. I don't think I've felt like this inside in a looong time.. but I know everything is going to be okay.. God will help me through it no matter what. Things may get harder for me because I won't have that person to talk to like I used to, but I know that I can talk to God just as easily.. he told me he still wants me to call him whenever I need to, but it just won't be the same even though I want it to be. People told me that my heart wasn't in this relationship like people have seen in the past, but that's not how I felt.. because I felt like I was actually doing the right thing with this guy for the first time EVER!! But I know things have to be the way they are for a reason, and maybe way down the road things could change when we are both where we need to be with God... but even if not we can still be friends, hopefully. God is the only way! and He is the right way!!

Time, Prayer, and Trust!

Isn't weird how one person can seem like it's ruining your life? but we shouldn't let ourselves get that way even if it is hard.. or if it's a parent or a relative. God works in wonderous ways and He always makes things right if you walk in the right path. You just have to pray about it, but don't expect it tonight or tomorrow.. it takes TIME! Time could be a loooonng or very short, it depends on what God does because it is his time. I know that I have been having trouble with my parents ever since i pretty much started going to a different church than them, but I know some people who are having a much harder time than I. There are much bigger problems out there than just mine, but to God they are soooo small! PRAYER is the the number one thing to do during any kind of problem, no matter how big or little it is to you! At church tonight our pastor said everyone has many things to pray about, but the main thing to do is give each problem to him and just TRUST!! Trust can be a hard thing to do, but not when you are trusting the Lord! He should be the easiest person to trust no matter what! But all you can do right now is PRAY!!! GOD LOVES YOU!!! AND SO DO I!!!